


Flowers for Fireflies

by SunnyLockwood



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Comfort/Angst, Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-18
Updated: 2013-12-18
Packaged: 2018-01-02 13:03:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1057099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunnyLockwood/pseuds/SunnyLockwood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the era of Titans, humans were likened to fireflies, dancing and livening the dark night; their glow quickly fading as dawn approaches, never to be seen the following night. Such is the life of the Special Operations Squad, who knew all too well that their next expedition might be their last. Yet, despite knowing the cruel truth, they were prepared to fight, down to their last breath.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flowers for Fireflies

**Author's Note:**

> Not spoiler-free. This story is a dedication to the SPECIAL OPERATIONS SQUAD. I just love these guys too much. I watched episodes 20-22 so many times. My bad for another angsty fic. What can I do? ;-; Inspired by My Chemical Romance’s The Light Behind Your Eyes. It triggered the right kind of tone and feeling. Well, then enjoy! C: Canon and semi-canon. I think I have been writing too much angst.

Heavy ominous clouds blanketed the whole horizon. It was raining hard. The afternoon sun was nowhere to be found in this dismal weather. Droplets collected themselves on the roof and already damp ground, forming small pools. The downpour gradually died down, reducing to a light drizzle until it came to a stop. Storms clouds gradually receded, revealing the night sky dotted with stars.

It was an exceptionally hot and humid summer evening. The Special Operations Squad was enjoying their usual humble supper of bread, potato stew and tea, prepared by Petra Ral herself, as well as each other's company. They were stationed at the old Scouting Legion headquarters, an imposing castle located in the outskirts of Wall Rose. It was abandoned, however, due to its impractical location, away from the walls and rivers. Though aged, one can still notice its elaborate architecture: embellished large windows, blue-tiled roofs and cobblestone towers. It was rather large place to stay in, for a mere number of five. They sat around a rectangular wooden table, which snugly accommodated all of them. Several torches affixed to wrought iron rings illuminated the mess hall, including a lantern placed in the middle of their dining table.

"Petra, your culinary skills are improving," the captain complimented while sipping his tea. "Not bad."

"R-Really?" She stammered. "T-Thank you." From the corner of her eye, she could see Eld nudging Gunther, a teasing look plastered on his face. The latter was snickering. She glared at them, lips in a halfway pout.

Gunther Schultz, a man of above-average height, tanned skin and dark eyes, sported his black hair swept upward in a kempt, pointed manner. Owing to his stern and serious manner, he is thought to be unapproachable. But that was proved wrong when he is with his close friends. The fellow has a good sense of humor.

"I knew it. She may be one strong woman, but around the captain, she's a withering flower." Gunther joked, him and Eld bursting into laughter, tableware clattering as Gunther repeatedly tapped at the wooden table. Petra found herself gripping her teacup tighter than usual. "Oh, just shut it," she retorted, unable to hide the pink tint that graced her plump cheeks. As the duo continued their chortle, unable to eat, the captain sipped his tea in silence. After quite some time, both of them stopped, surrendering to their aching stomachs and loss of breath. Eld, still gasping for air, said, “Gunther, that was a good one,” and gave the other a strong slap on the back.

Eld Jinn, second-in-command, is a straightforward man with a strong sense of duty and responsibility. Tall stature, brown eyes, high cheekbones, clean-cut goatee and blonde hair tied in a clumped ponytail are many of his charming features. Like the rest of the squad, he is also always concerned about his comrades.

“Hey, Petra. You still haven’t taken the necessary steps yet to become my wife. Your cooking still has a long way to go.” Auruo broke in. His actions were far from what his words meant as he consumed his dinner ravenously. It was now his turn to be glared at. She scoffed, crossing her arms over chest, “I wasn’t asking for your opinion, stupid. And quit acting like the captain. You aren’t even like him in the slightest."

Petra Ral, a ginger with light-colored eyes, heart-shaped face and slim, toned figure, is the most vertically-challenged, short of two centimeters of the captain's height, among the members of the elite squad. Personality-wise, she is warm-hearted, caring, especially for her team, and very frightening when angered. She never considered her short stature a hindrance from her duties: a great cook and solid fighter. Her eyes have always looked at the captain in admiration, patently romantic in nature.

“Trying to bind my hands, Petra?” The white-haired man replied, a wry smile on his lips.

Auruo Bossard, a man of medium built and hazel eyes, has an undercut and cravat similar to Captain Levi. No one knows why and when he started imitating the captain. Perhaps it was to catch a certain female soldier’s attention, even to the point of imitating the captain’s way of speaking. Despite of his haughty and insufferable demeanor at times, he shares a strong bond with his squad members. He also possesses the highest recorded Titan kill count to boot.

“You should’ve just bitten your tongue and died.”

Eld had a mocking look on his face, “Burned.”

“Definitely,” Gunther remarked. Auruo glared at them, abruptly stood up from his seat, palms resting on the table. “Oi, what the hell are you trying to get at--” The poor soul bit his tongue, again.

Captain Levi pinched the bridge of his nose and finished his tea. “I’m going back to my quarters to sign some documents.” He stood up and returned the chair to its previously undisturbed state. “Start cleaning up. Call me if you need anything.”

All four of them saluted, “Yes, sir!”

From the kitchen, dimly lit, due to a shortage of lanterns, the rattle of stacked plates, clinking of teacups and clang of pots could be overheard, as well as trivial chitchat. There were two large stone sinks placed opposite to each other, a large stove on the other side, piles of firewood beside it, cupboards and drawers for kitchenware storage, dull steel hooks for the pots and pans and two large windows beside the stove.

Auruo and Eld cleaned and wiped the table outside, checking for fallen crumbs while Petra and Gunther washed the tableware, making sure they were _religiously_ clean, else they all get scolded by the captain the next morning.

Petra, while scrubbing the dishes, sighed wearily, “The captain. He was annoyed, wasn’t he?” Gunther, his back turned to her, shrugged, rinsing the stew pot, “I guess it was our fault for being too rowdy. But then again, the captain, though he always has a strict expression on his face, is unexpectedly kind. Perhaps he just has too much on his mind today.”

She chuckled, “Maybe,” and wiped her forehead. “It’s quite hot tonight, don’t you think?”

He grunted in affirmation, “ _Very_. I’m sweating like a pig.” Perspiration apparent in his clothes and skin. “Okay, done with the pots,” he overturned them to be left for drying. “Frankly, I hate hot summer nights like these.” He sighed, scrubbing teacups. “But, there’s one thing I look forward to seeing. And it just rained. Perfect.”

Petra looked at him, “Which is?”

“Fireflies.”

Her face lit up. “No way, you also go firefly viewing on nights like these? I used to look at them with my parents back home. Would there be any outside? I wonder.” They rinsed the last batch of the tableware, placed them in their respective drawers and cupboards and dried their hands with a towel. Gunther smiled at her, “Well, it wouldn’t hurt checking.”

A warm wind gusted into the kitchen, bringing in some unexpected visitors, leaving the two in a pleasant surprise. Not one, but three lightning bugs danced in the partial darkness, showing off their alluring greenish-yellow glow. Petra squealed in delight.

“Speak of the devil.”

* * *

Everything was in a hurried blur, as the Special Operations Squad, mounted on their steeds, advanced through the Forest of Giant Trees, with the Female Titan relentlessly pursuing after them. Each of its footsteps thundered and shook the ground violently. Its eyes gleamed wildly at Eren Jaeger, like a predator chasing its prey; capturing him, its sole purpose.

It was only a matter of time before the Female Titan closed in on them. Each passing moment heightened the unpredictability of the situation. Panic and fear flooded their veins and clouded their judgment. “Dammit, there’s no way to foresee and evade its attacks!” Gunther stated, with his head turned behind.

“It’ll catch us at this rate!” Eld hollered, alarmed, as the Female Titan continued its hot pursuit. Petra shouted, “Corporal, let’s switch to Maneuver Gear!” The corporal spun his head to glance at the Titan. Reinforcements rushed from behind, endeavoring to slay the Female Titan to no avail. The target was intelligent and knowledgeable about the mechanism of the 3D Maneuver Gear, as well as the weak spot behind its neck. It had its enormous left hand protecting that spot. Soldiers had their gear cords ruthlessly grabbed. Their bodies brutally crushed and dashed against the towering tree trunks, murdered like helpless insects; their blood and remains splattered right across. The squad owed it to the brave soldiers who risked and sacrificed their lives to buy them ample time.

Petra shrieked, “Captain, your orders?!”

"Let’s go for it! It’s dangerous! We should kill it!” Auruo cried out.

Eld yelled, already panic-stricken, “The reason why we lead it into this forest was to kill it, right, Captain?”

“Captain!” Eren frantically shouted from behind.

All hell was breaking loose. Yet the captain remained uncannily calm and silent.

“Everyone, cover your eyes,” he ordered, his face ever stoic. The squad was already disconcerted from the adrenaline rush. For the captain to give this seemingly ridiculous order in the midst of this chaos, they could only silently utter, “Huh?” Taking a flare gun from a pocket attached on his horse's side, Captain Levi loaded it with a noise grenade cartridge and fired it. A humming shrill pierced the air, causing everyone to be momentarily deaf; the surroundings almost incoherent, as a dull silence predominated.

When the high-pitched noise faded, the captain spoke, “Men, what is your duty? Was it to lose yourself to raging emotions? That is not what your orders were now, was it…” he trailed off. Horse hooves continued to clatter noisily, as they moved deeper into the forest. “The duty this squad was assigned to is to do our damndest to make sure this piss-poor brat wouldn’t get a single scratch on him.” He narrows his eyes. “Even if it costs us our lives.”

Eren’s eyes widened, _It wasn’t to keep watch on me?_

The corporal continued, “We keep going on our horses, got it?” Eld, Gunther, Auruo and Petra, though terrified, however, still chose to trust their captain. They all gave their silent affirmation, except Eren. “Keep going? For how long? It’ll catch up to us very soon!” The sound of firing grappling hooks caught his attention. “Look, more reinforcements are coming! If we help them right now, we may stand a chance!”

Gunther abruptly interrupted him, “Eren, eyes on the road!”

“Eren, don’t screw up the pace! Stay at top speed!” Eld ordered, gritting his teeth.

The younger male could not believe what he was hearing. _What kind of fucking nonsense are my superiors spouting?_

“If the Special Operations Squad doesn’t take it down, then who the hell will?!” Eren answered back, his heart in a state of retaliation; his mind in muddled confusion. He could only helplessly look and gasp at the gruesome sight of the Female Titan inhumanly massacring numerous comrades without regard. “Another one died…” he wailed, “We could’ve saved him!”

“Eren, keep your eyes on the road! Keep going!” Petra raised her voice.

Eren clenched his fists tighter. “Are you telling me to look away, abandon my comrades and run?!”

“Yes, that’s right! Obey the Captain’s orders!"

Bewildered, Eren snapped back, “Dammit, I don’t understand why the hell are we leaving them to die! Or why the captain wouldn’t explain!”

Auruo cut him off, “That’s because the Captain has decided not to explain the situation at hand. You just don’t understand yet because you’re still a rookie!” The younger male stared back at him, wide-eyed. The older male continued, “If you understand it, then shut up and obey!”

Eren Jaeger was torn. The actions of his squad members were incomprehensible. No explanations, no answers. He hated feeling so helpless, watching people die right before him. This was a feeling he was so well-acquainted with; he watched a Titan grab his injured mother, break her in half and consume her, as he and Mikasa, carried on Hannes’ shoulders, escaped to safety. That horrible image was etched onto his mind. He couldn’t forget what Hannes told him on that fateful day, “The reason you couldn’t save your mother is that you lacked strength. The reason I didn’t fight the Titan is because I lacked courage!”

A realization struck him. _No, wait. I can fight on my own!_ He returned his blade into its sheath and contemplated transforming into a Titan, while staring at his right hand. _Why am I even relying on others when I can fight alone!_ Before his teeth bore through his flesh, Petra unexpectedly caught him. “Eren, what are you doing? You’re only allowed to do that when your life is in danger! You promised us, didn’t you?” Being the hardheaded and tenacious brat that he is, he still attempted to bite his hand only to be stopped again. “Eren!” She called out, her facial features, forbidding and grim.

“You’re not in the wrong about this. If you want to do it, do it,” the captain interjected. Eren’s green eyes lit up in shock. “He’s a real monster, I know that much, and it has nothing to do with his Titan power. No matter how much force he’s held down with, no matter how the strong the cage he’s placed in, no one will be able to make his spirit submit to their will.”

“Eren,” the captain continued. “The difference between your decision and ours is based on different rules derived from past experiences. But you don’t have to rely on such. _Choose_. I can believe in my own abilities or choices of the companions I trust. Will you trust yourself or trust me, them and the Scouting Legion as a whole?” The younger male was at a loss for words.

“I don’t know which option you should choose. I could never advise you on that. But, in the end, no matter what kind of wisdom dictates you, no one will be able to to tell if it’s right or wrong ‘till you arrive at some sort of outcome.” The hunt was still on. With horses galloping at top speed, the squad made their way further into the deep recesses of the forest.

“The only thing we’re allowed to do is to believe that we won’t regret the choice we made.”

Eren brooded on the captain’s words and grit his teeth together. He was determined to transform into his Titan form, but was once again discouraged by Petra. She looked at him, eyes filled with worry and care. “Eren, trust us.” He was taken aback.

_Eren, we’d like you to rely on us. To trust us._

His eyes were fixed on the bite mark on Petra’s right hand. Turning to the Female Titan chasing them, he wildly glared at it and grunted.

“ _Goddamit,_ Eren! You’re taking too long! Make up your _fucking_ mind already!” Captain Levi snapped at him, his patience already wearing thin.

“I’ll keep going with you!” Eren shouted at the top of his voice.

A ghastly scream was heard from behind. The Female Titan seized the last soldier from the reinforcements and smashed his torso into the wide tree trunk, separating the upper body from the lower. Eren shut his eyes and looked away, “Forgive me!’ With the distractions all taken cared of, the Female Titan picked up its speed. The loud boom of heavy footsteps slowly increased as each succeeding step brought the predator closer to its prey. The threatening figure of the Female Titan came closer and closer each passing second. A large hand loomed above Eren’s head.

“Full speed ahead! Keep running as fast as you can!” The captain ordered. 

Eren felt his stomach turn. _Everybody chose to keep going forward, even if it meant suicide and leaving comrades behind._ His eyes turned to the captain’s back. _Captain Levi keeps looking ahead… and even the others too. They trust him with their lives._ _I want to believe that trusting my comrades is the right thing to do!_

“Fire!”

In a split second, a barrage of loud explosions set off. Hundreds of large arrowheads attached to coiled wires skewered the Female Titan’s body, rendering its muscles and joints immobile. A cloud of heavy smoke followed the explosions, temporarily reducing the visibility to near zero.

“Everyone, tether the horses up ahead, then switch to 3D Maneuver Gear. I’ll be taking action separately from the rest of you,” the captain ordered. “Eld, I’m leaving you in charge of the squad.” He, while standing up from his steed, shot a steel wire onto a nearby tree. “Keep a safe distance away from that Titan, hide Eren and take care of my horse.” He zoomed above his squad in midair and disappeared into the thicket of leaves and branches.

The Special Operations Squad safely rode through the commotion, leaving Eren was in a daze, silently in new awe of the capabilities of the Scouting Legion whom he admired from his boyhood.

He felt himself alive again.

* * *

Captain Levi perched himself comfortably on top of the Female Titan’s head. “Why don’t you just get out of there? We have better things to do, you know.” He stomped on its head. “Say, what do you think is going to happen next? You really believe you can escape from us? I’d like you to put yourself in our shoes and think about how much trouble you’re causing us.”

His usual cool turned menacing and deadly, “Hey, _bitch_ , was it fun? Killing my subordinates in various ways. I am personally having fun right now.” He stomped on its head again. “Oh yeah, there was something I wanted to ask… If we cut off your hands, they’ll just grow back like a lizard’s, right? I mean your _real_ hands and feet.”

The Female Titan’s cyan eyes were already dilating due to sheer intimidation.

His blue eyes went dark, “You dying on us won’t just do.”

Threatened beyond compare, like every other cornered animal, it laboriously opened its mouth and let out an ear-splitting cry; its magnitude strong enough to reach all corners of the forest. Everyone covered their ears in fear of becoming deaf.

* * *

Silence befell upon the forest. The target eventually ceased its outburst; echoes rapidly declining.

The Special Operations Squad stopped dead in their tracks. They stood still, each of them on different branches, blades at ready. Eld called out, “ _What_ the hell was that?”

“I have no idea,” Gunther shrugged

Petra shook her head.

“Hmph, must be that bastard of a Titan screaming and begging for mercy.” Auruo sneered. “We’ve got nothing to worry about. The higher-ups got it completely under their thumb.”

Eren was silent and unsettled. _Dammit, you chose to trust your comrades. You shouldn’t be feeling this way._ In spite of convincing himself, his gut feeling, unable to shake it off, told him otherwise.

* * *

Squad Leader Mike Zacharius lifted his head and sniffed the air around him. It reeked of danger.

The commander blankly looked at the massive figure before him and furrowed his brows. _Emotional burst? Does this mean it’ll stop resisting? Or it’s up to something_

“Erwin!” Mike broke his train of thought, as he approached him. “The _stench._ ” The commander’s expression became grave, “Direction?” The other urgently answered him, “From every direction! And it’s getting stronger! They’re closing in on us!”

In the distance, several loud footsteps rumbled. Every Titan present in the forest marched into the place where the Female Titan was held captive.

“Erwin! The ones from the east are almost here!” Mike shouted.

“Hey, bitch. You fuckin’ did something after all.” Levi glanced at the approaching Titans and clicked his tongue impatiently. In one swoop, he managed to slay two. The 4-meter class, however, managed to break through, grabbed and bit the Female Titan’s left leg. The commander took in the grotesque sight. _I can’t believe this. They’re devouring it?_

An overwhelming number of Titans viciously tore off and broke apart the Female Titan’s body while soldiers strived to cut down any Titan that attempted to come any closer. The tide turned against the Scouting Legion. It was already a losing battle. A horde of Titans already broke through; each inch of flesh from the captive Titan was hungrily consumed.

* * *

Several columns of green flare gun rounds were now visible against the blue sky. “The retreat signal. Looks like it’s over.” Gunther said with a sigh of relief.

Eld called out, “We’re going to back where we left our horses! Prepare to retreat! Let’s go!”

“You heard the man. Let’s go see for ourselves what kind of shit-headed face the person inside is making. I’d _love_ to see the person piss his pants.” Auruo taunted.

The squad, firing their wires in midair, leapt off the massive tree branches and swiftly made their way onto the succeeding trees to their destination.

“Did they really manage to capture that person?” Eren furrowed his brows in askance.

* * *

“Erwin, I’ll go call my squad,” Levi spoke out, crouched on the tree trunk as his 3D Maneuver Gear allowed him to, ready to withdraw himself from his post. Erwin turned to stop him, “Wait, Levi.” The younger male looked at him questioningly. The commander continued, “Refill your gas tank and replenish your blades.” Levi narrowed his eyes, “We’re already hard pressed for time as it is. I think I can still hold out with what I have left. Why waste time on resupplying?”

“It’s an order. Just do it.”

The corporal just stared into his commander’s eyes; both of them locked in eye contact.

“Fine, understood. I’ll trust your judgment on this one.”

* * *

“Yes, I am sure of it! And it’s all thanks to you, Eren!” Petra said, as the Special Operations Squad sped through the forest in midair, evading huge branches and trunks blocking their path. “Eh, but I didn’t do anything…” Eren muttered.

“No, Eren. You trusted us, and that was more than enough. We’ve gotten this far because you chose to trust in us. Making the right choice is always really difficult, isn’t it?” She said cheerfully.

“Oi, Petra,” Auruo called out, a slight tinge of jealousy in his voice, “Quit pampering the shitty brat. What did he do to deserve all the praise, hm?"

Auruo continued his rambling, as they zoomed through the forest. “The only thing he was good at was squawking and panicking. He did nothing except being the bait, I’m telling you! But, maybe… him being alive can be considered a good job. However, even that isn’t certain until the operation is wrapped up, ya know. So, be sure to mark my words, you brat. Until you’re safely back behind walls, the expedition isn’t over yet!"

“Look you guys. Stop acting all high-and-mighty. I seem to recall you two weeping and pissing your pants during your first expedition,” Eld teased, amusement glinting in his eyes. Petra and Auruo glared daggers at him. “Fine and fearless soldiers, indeed.” He smirked.

Petra screamed, “Eld! Don’t tell him that! What if he loses all his respect for us? What are you gonna do about that, huh?”

Eld answered back, “So just you know, Eren, I’m telling the truth. And for the record, I didn’t piss my pants.”

Grown men, fully clad in soldier uniform and military gear, bickered like children in midair during an important mission outside human territory. If the surrounding trees had ears to hear and mouths to speak with, they would be listening to one of the Special Operations Squad's more embarrassing secrets and laughing alongside with them. Forged by trust, brotherhood and camaraderie, their bond was inseparable, thicker than water and blood. They were comfortable around each other. No words were needed; gestures, eye communication and facial expressions alone were enough.

Auruo swore, “ _Goddamit,_ Eld! I hold the highest kill count, ya know? You dumbass!”

Eld teased them more, “The value of a soldier isn't solely measured by his kill record."

Auruo snapped back at him, "Shut up, you damn idiot!"

"It probably sprayed in midair too,” Eren joined in.

She retorted sarcastically. "Great. Thanks for giving him a mental image, Eld! That sure helped a lot!"

“Hey!” Gunther shouted. “The hell. You guys on picnic or something? We’re still in the outer lands, for love’s sake! And, by the way, Eren, I didn’t piss myself either.”

A distant shot of a flare gun was heard; a single green column of smoke appeared and it piqued his attention. “Oh? That must be from Captain Levi. We’re going to join up with him. Save your bickering for later!”

A cloaked figure emerged from the shadows of the forest, traveling at par with their speed. “Hm? Captain Levi?” Gunther did a double take. “No, wait, that’s not the captain…” The mysterious figure, with blades in hand, darted toward him. The rest of the squad could only gasp in horror as Gunther’s lifeless and suspended body collided with a nearby tree.

“Gunther, hey! Are you al–” Eren felt his breath hitch in his throat.

Gunther Schultz’s nape was sliced clean; head dangling below the gaping wound; only a thread of skin and muscle holding the head and body together.

* * *

The warm radiance of afternoon sun softly caressed the windows of the Schultz residence. Gunther’s grandfather, well advanced in years, rested on a wooden rocking chair by the fireplace with his hazel eyes closed. He usually enjoyed peaceful afternoons like this. How he always waited for his beloved grandson to come back safe and sound. The last time he saw his grandson was before Gunther left for the 57th Expedition.

His grandfather and grandmother saw him off, all three of them outside, standing on cobblestone steps. Gunther kissed his grandmother's cheek. "Grandma, I'm off," he smiled at her.

"Hot bread and stew will be waiting for you on your return." She replied, smiling warmly. He turned to his grandfather, held his hand and brought it close to his forehead as a gesture of respect and departure, "Grandpa, I'm off."

The older man embraced him, "Take good care of yourself, son."

Gunther hugged back tightly. "I will."

"We'll miss you, Gunther."

Footsteps interrupted the old man’s reverie as his wife approached him. “Dear, Gunther’s coming home.” He opened his eyes. “Is that so? I see.” Turning to his wife, he said, “Then let's prepare some dinner then.” His wife chuckled, “I wonder what kind of stories our dear soldier boy will tell us this time."

* * *

_Grandpa, Grandma, I'm sorry I couldn't come home._

The cloaked figure disappeared into the shadows, waiting for another chance to preemptively strike.

Auruo grabbed Eren’s cloak from above. “Eren! Don’t stop! Keep moving!”

Petra and Eld simultaneously positioned themselves in defense, blades drawn. The former shouted, “Who’s there?!” The latter clutched his blades. “Protect Eren at all costs! The attacker is using 3D Maneuver Gear!”

“Fuck it all! What the hell are we gonna do? Eld, where should we go now?!” Auruo shouted.

“Forget about the horses! Head for our comrades! Full speed ahead!”

The mysterious figure once again appeared and chased after them. Petra, turning around, swore in her anger. "Dammit, the nerve this fucker has! Come at me!" She barked, "I'll defeat your sorry ass, even if it kills me!"

Eren looked behind. _The Female Titan? Impossible! How? Didn't it get caught?_

As soon as the mysterious attacker disappeared, a blinding flash of light exploded from the lofty skies, flooded its surroundings, and left a strong gale and tremor in its aftermath.

“The Female Titan’s coming!” Eld exclaimed.

It was déjà vu. That awfully familiar feeling and sensation of being chased like prey and thunder of its footsteps dreadfully gnawed at their raging emotions. The Female Titan was back, this time with vengeance. Eren’s green eyes burned with fury. “I will defeat it this time!” However, despite his sincere enthusiasm to be of use, Eld stopped him, “No, all three of us will kill it! You need to quickly rendezvous with our comrades!”

“I will fight too!” Eren insisted.

Eld stopped him again, “No! This is the best move. Your power is too risky!”

Auruo cut in, “The hell, you brat? You doubt us?”

“Eren, do you? Do you really find it hard to trust us?” Petra looked at him.

Eren, hesitant at first, eventually, though reluctant, complied and sheathed his blades. “I believe in my squad’s victory!” He declared, firing a grappling hook onto a tree in front of him. “Good luck, from the bottom of my heart!” And he went ahead, wishing the best for his squad, that they would come back alive. A newfound assurance and confidence emanated from the boy’s words. The three of them nodded silently to one another and dashed towards their giant enemy.

Eld charged at the Female Titan, his blades swung upwards. It reached for him. He fired a steel wire from his side, barely evading his enemy’s strike. He propelled himself backwards, using the gas exhaust as smoke screen. The unforeseen maneuver left the attacker distracted. Seeing this opening, Petra and Auruo rushed behind Eld. In a spinning motion, they lacerated the target’s eyes. It fell back with its back to a tree, one hand covering its nape.

Eld gave a hand signal. Petra and Auruo nodded. The two zipped upward towards the Female Titan. Upon hitting the right angle, they pivoted in midair. In one sweeping motion, they sheared off a large portion of the enemy’s muscles. Eld, Petra and Auruo unforgivingly hacked off more of its flesh; each coming from a different direction, one strike after the other. Having sustained heavy damage on its rotary muscles, the Female Titan’s arms slumped down. They hastily regrouped for another assault and replaced their blades, lest the enemy sees an opening to launch an unwanted counterattack.

“Now, aim for the muscles that support its neck!” Eld directed.

_I can believe in my own abilities or the choices of the companions I trust. But no one ever knows how it’ll turn out._

“Die, you goddamn bitch.” He snarled, closing in on its neck.

* * *

 The captain was holed up in his room for the rest of night, brows scrunched up in deep concentration, studying each document thoroughly beneath the flickering candlelight. He massaged his temples, sensing an incoming onslaught of migraine and clicked his tongue in annoyance. _It’s suffocating in here._ He rose from his seat and opened the window, seeking the fresh air he needed.

 His squad members' voices from outside aroused his attention and took a peek.

“They’re really here! And there’s so many of them!” Petra chirped in excitement.

Hundreds of fireflies lit up the dull evening, tiny lights frolicking to and fro as they glimmered, shedding light on the grass, castle walls and little pools of water brought about by rain. It was as if the stars in the celestial heavens came down. What a sight to behold. Even Humanity’s Strongest became breathless in the face of such an amazing spectacle.

Gunther called out to their leader upon noticing the open windows of the captain’s quarters. “Captain, come watch with us.” He hesitated. _It’s muddy outside. My boots will get dirty and I’d have to clean them again._ Sighing, he left his quarters. _I’ll take the offer. I need some time off from those damn papers._ He had to put up with the dirt for a while, because he didn’t want to miss this chance to see fireflies.

When he was in the front yard, he called out, “Eld, Gunther, Auruo, get some chairs from the mess hall,” he ordered. The three nodded and went their way.

He approached Petra and stood beside her. She smiled at him, “They’re beautiful, aren’t they, Captain?”

He gave her a curt nod, “My first time seeing fireflies.”

She stared at him, wide-eyed. “Really?” was all she could muster.

“Yeah. I used to live in the underground. Not a single one in sight.”

Her eyes remained fixated on the fireflies. “I used to watch them with my family when I was young,” she chuckled. “My father always said that fireflies represented an extraordinary person.” The captain was looking at her intently. “Fireflies shine from the inside out. And that internal beauty brings hope and strength to others, always encouraging others to fight on.”

Levi turned his gaze to the hundreds of dancing fireflies. _These little bugs actually mean so much, huh._

Eld, Gunther and Auruo returned with the chairs and placed them in a single line. The captain sat in the middle, Auruo and Petra to his left and Eld and Gunther to his right. “Oi, don’t forget to clean your damn boots, the seats and the places your filthy boots treaded on,” the captain reminded them. They all gave a hearty laugh.

He leaned back, placed his shoulder over the top rail and crossed his legs. “I’m actually quite happy… being able to see this with my squad,” his voice, regardless of its monotony, hinted otherwise. Incredulous, his squad members gawked at him.

Petra spoke, “Captain, you’re quite talkative today.”

Levi brushed her off, “I’m always talkative, Petra.” He glanced at each of them. “You guys are too quiet. You constipated or something?”

Gunther rubbed his nose sheepishly. “I always went with my grandpa near the riverside to catch fireflies. We’d keep them inside paper lanterns and release them the day after, the same spot where we found them.”

Eld scratched his head, “I’ve seen them before. Never really had a chance to see them up close though until now.”

Auruo crossed his arms, “If I’m not mistaken, there was this one time, before I joined the military, Petra and I went firefly catching beside a river. She was so set on catching one that she didn’t notice that she was already too close to the bank that she fell. Face down into the water.” Smirking, he nudged her, “Right?”

The other grabbed his cravat and brought her face close to his, glaring at him. He choked a bit, “My memory isn’t that sparse, Petra. You should thank me for saving your life.” She rolled her eyes and faced another direction, releasing her grip, “I could’ve stood up on my own. But you insisted that you carry me back home.”

The captain spoke up, “Ho, I never knew you two were childhood friends.”

“But they always bicker with each other like lovers.” Gunther cut in, laughing.

“You guys, you should get married,” Eld teased.

“Eld, Gunther, stop it! You’ll give Captain Levi the wrong idea!” Petra shouted at them and turned to the captain, make a gesture with her hands, “I-It’s nothing! Please don’t mind them.”

In the dark of the young night, the fireflies illuminated and danced, unmindful of their surroundings and the bickering of grown men and a woman under the moonlit sky. The captain just watched them quietly, taking in the dimlit silhouettes of his squad members: their voices, faces, expressions, actions and physique. He crooked his neck upward to the jet-black sky. This was their time spent together. Unmistakably, these little sweet nothings mattered the most.

_Erwin, I did not choose the wrong people to be with._

* * *

Without warning, the Female Titan’s right eye opened, right in time to counter Eld’s incoming attack. It plunged its head down and caught him in its wide jaws. It bit him savagely in half. The mangled lower half of his torso dropped stiffly to the ground. His surviving squad members felt their blood run cold.

“W-What’s going on? It shouldn’t be able to see yet! Not even thirty seconds have passed!” Petra cried in disbelief.

* * *

Eld’s fiancée stared out the window into the distant sunset, a basket of unfolded laundry in her hands. She and Eld were to be married next month, when things settled down a bit after the 57th Expedition. Her luscious brown locks hanged loosely from her head; her round grey eyes full of anxiety. _I hope he does come back safely. I miss him so much._ She placed the basket down and twirled the silver ring inserted on her left ring finger.Her soon-to-be mother-in-law approached her. “Eld’s coming home, dear. Don’t worry. He’ll be fine.” She smiled at her. “I know. He’s quite strong. He won’t go down that easily.”

Several days prior to the 57th Expedition, Eld Jinn asked the captain’s permission to allow him to take a short leave. The captain was sitting on his desk with his legs crossed. “Eld, what is it?” He felt jittery. _Shit, should I even ask this?_

“Spill it, soldier.”

He saluted, “Sir, I want to request a short leave before the expedition,” and looked at his leader in the eye. _What a selfish bastard I am. This can be grounds for disciplinary action._ The captain asked him, “How long would it take? And why?”

“Sir, I promised my girl an engagement ring. And I wanted to give it to her before we leave for the expedition.” He answered, hand still in salute. Levi moved down from his desk and approached him. Eld expected a disciplinary kick, but the captain gave him a pat on the back instead. “Get going, Eld. Your fiancée’s waiting for you. Just make sure you come back two days before.”

* * *

_I’m sorry, love. I can’t be with you anymore._

The predator’s monstrous eye turned to Petra Ral and ran toward her. “It prioritized the regeneration of one eye? How is that _even_ possible?” Her body froze, unable to move a muscle, paralyzed.

“Oi, Petra! Regain your balance! Hurry!” Auruo shouted. “Dammit, Petra!”

It was no use. She couldn’t hear anything, not even the Titan’s footsteps or Auruo’s shouts. She drowned in her disbelief. The Titan rushed at her.

“Petra, c’mon! Do it!”

Alas, it was too late. The Titan murdered her in cold-blood. It smashed its feet onto Petra’s delicate back against a tree. She coughed out blood. Her body bent in two.

Auruo felt his heart smash into a thousand pieces.

* * *

Petra’s mother happily hummed while she washed the dishes. _I need to prepare her favorite dishes. She’s going to come home by nightfall._

“I’m home, sweetheart!” Her husband called out from the living room. The front door closed with a soft click. “Welcome back!” She replied from the kitchen. “Petra’s letter arrived a while ago. I waited for you to come back so we can read it together. It’s on the coffee table.”

After wiping the dishes clean, she sat beside her husband. He opened the envelope and read the contents of the letter.

 

_Dear Papa, Mama,_

_How have you been? I hope both of you are doing well. Your daughter’s doing more than fine. I still cannot forget the moment when Captain Levi personally asked me to join his squad. I think he respects my abilities. I am so happy. And, to be honest, I’ve wanted to say this for a long time. I have seen what kind of man the captain is, and I want to devote my life to him in the near future. He has offered his heart for humanity’s cause and I want to do the same, by his side. My feelings perhaps will not be reciprocated, but I have made my decision. Papa, Mama, I know what you’re thinking about now. And you are right about what I feel for him. Rest assured, I will not forget about you. I will always love you both. I cannot wait to come back home!_

_Your loving daughter,_

_Petra_

 

“Oh my, seems our precious daughter developed feelings for the captain,” she laughed.

“Not on my dead body, sweetheart. If I’m not mistaken, they’re coming back today. I’ll have a word with the captain and give him a piece of my mind.”

She teased her husband, “Dear, you shouldn’t be like that. You’re too overprotective of her. She’ll never get married if you keep this up…” He gave her a long face and embraced her, “Of course, I’m her father.”

* * *

“Hey, you fucking slut,” Auruo clasped the hilt of his blades tighter than usual.

He rushed at it and attempted to cleave through its nape. It was all in vain. The Titan crystallized its skin a second before Auruo could make a single scratch on its flesh. His blades broke into smithereens. Without batting an eye, the enemy mercilessly kicked his back. The impact was more than enough to break his spinal cord and crush his internal organs. His lifeless body hit the forest ground, his eyes still open. With all the strength he could muster, Auruo reached for Petra.

_I’m sorry, Petra._

He closed his eyes and breathed his last.

* * *

Giggling children in the midst of these perilous times was relieving sight. Auruo’s younger siblings were cleaning their feet inside a metal basin filled with water outside their house. The rays of the afternoon sun shone on their dirty grinning faces. Their mother was busy preparing the whole family a hearty supper. Her husband came into the kitchen with a child perched on his shoulders, “Do you think Auruo will come home tonight?”

“Well, it won’t hurt if I cook an extra portion for him.”

The child seated on the man’s shoulders tugged at his collar, “Hey, when will our brother come back? We miss playing with him.” The young one pouted and crossed his arms. His father held him in his arms and kissed his forehead, “He’ll be back soon. Don’t worry.” He reassured the child with a pat on the head. “Auruo’s strong. Very very strong!”

The child beamed, “Yeah! I bet the Titans are very scared of him! They’d all run away!”

* * *

Several months have passed; the seasons cycled. Snow descended from the white skies gracefully. It was first snow of the season, yet the weather was already unforgiving. Anyone who would step outside would feel the full blast of winter’s frigid touch. A few days earlier, after losing his old squad, Levi personally chose a handful from the 104th Trainees Squad. They were stationed to a different location and base. It was rather simpler and plainer than the previous headquarters of the original Special Operations Squad: a modest log cabin with a spacious front porch, a distance away from the main districts of Wall Rose, large and cozy enough to fit three bedrooms for eight people, a kitchen, salon and dining hall.

The captain tossed and squirmed in bed, his breathing labored. Gasping desperately for air, he awoke with a start; lips parted and eyes dilated open. He sat up and watched the snow fall outside his window. Sighing wearily, the captain got out of his covers and felt the coldness of the hard floor pierce the underside of his feet. He flinched, swore and scrambled for his bedroom slippers and black jacket. If someone were to ask him of his pet peeve, it was definitely cold weather. He never liked this kind of bleak weather.

The cabin was quiet. His squad members did not make a peep. _Brats must still be asleep_ , he mused. _Can’t be helped in a wretched weather like this._ He scoffed in disdain and approached the window, eyes fixated on the white horizon beyond his cozy little room. He placed his hand on the window and reminisced the happenings inside the Forest of Giant Trees. Seeing the dead and lifeless bodies of his comrades serving as miserable and macabre decorations in the Forest of Giant Trees made his blood boil. He clearly remembered the depth of the wounds he carved onto the Female Titan’s body. Each laceration screamed his murderous intent and devastation of loss.

He reached for his jacket pocket and took their badges bearing their names and unit. Until now, he still felt a harrowing hole deep inside him. Placing his other hand on his aching chest, still focused on the snowy winterland before him, he exhaled impossibly loud. No one knows when death would strike. No one ever did or ever will.

He swore he could’ve killed the Female Titan without any restraint. Gritting his teeth, he smashed his clenched right fist onto the wall beside the window. _You little shit, acting all high-and-mighty back then_. Falling on his knees, head slumped, he whispered, “Hey, Eld, Gunther, Auruo, Petra…” With each spoken syllable of their names, his chest heaved.

“I haven’t properly said this yet… But I think the time is right to do so…”

Such pain exuded from his afflicted blue eyes; his throat ached. He had to stay strong for his subordinates, to be someone who lived up to his title, and sealed off his emotions. But, no one was around. There was no need for him to keep his stoic front. Upon releasing the badges and letting them fall to the floor, hot tears welled until the rim of his eyes and drenched the badges of his old squad.

“I am sorry…” he wheezed and repeated that phrase like a broken record while clutching their badges close to his constantly beating yet broken heart.

The snow kept falling outside, paying no heed to the crestfallen soldier. The weather was as drearily and bitterly cold as his emotions. Never has he cried to this extent, as far as he could remember. He felt so helpless and weak, albeit being called Humanity’s Strongest. Regret reflected in his eyes. They were his comrades, his friends and his family People whom he trusted and trusted him back absolutely and resolutely. They entrusted their lives to him.

The badges suddenly flickered and glistened, not with his tears but of light. He rubbed his eyes in perplexity. Little did the captain expect that his old squad would appear right before his eyes. Four balls of light emerged from the badges and floated before him.

“Captain!” A familiar voice called out. His tears stopped rolling down his cheeks in disbelief. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing and seeing. Dumbfounded, he remained sitting down on the cold hard floor, unminding the iciness of the floor. They embraced him. Their embrace felt warm that Levi found himself leaning to their touch. His facial features eased up a bit. “Captain, please do not cry anymore. We’ll be almost here for you.” Petra said, embracing him tighter. Gunther reassured their captain, “Us being chosen by you to join your squad was the best day of our lives, Captain.”

“You will always be our captain, no matter what happens.” Eld muttered through his embrace.

“Captain, please. Let us lend you whatever little strength we have left.” Auruo cut in.

The four of them let their astonished captain go, stood up and said in unison, “Stay strong as you have taught us to become strong! We will give you our wings as you have taught us how to fly!” 

After saluting, with a blink of an eye, they were gone. He closed his eyes shut, hurting from crying. He stood up, took the badges in his hands and placed them inside his dresser. He looked at himself in the mirror, checking for any bed hair, and swept one hand through his head. He made his way through to the bathroom to wash his face, attempting to cover his swollen eyes then proceeded down the hallway to wake up his whole squad, in preparation for another new day.

_Eld, Gunther, Auruo, Petra. Just remember you will always burn as bright._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this very long angst fic of mine! <3 Hope you enjoyed it~


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